Even if you told them now, it would be too late.
What would happen next?
Well, it would be great but...
I mean, it would be with my friends.
- And would you continue to lie? - Well, no!
Well, yes.
You'd lie for them to like you.
To uphold standards and stay in the group.
Whatever, just do what's expected of you. Be that perfect little girl.
- Is that how you see me? - And how do you see me?
Well, I love you.
- You do? - Yeah.
Then why don't you ever trust me when you're the one lying?
I...
I don't know.
No, you don't. You don't know. Let me tell you something.
I'll never be the perfect son-in-law like Maxime.
Life insurance and all that, I can't do it.
- But who cares about Maxime! - I do now.
You didn't even tell me you were working with him.
I was going to tell you, I...
- I was just waiting for the right time. - You know what?
The real problem here is what I used to be. A hooker.
- Stop saying that. - No, I won't!
I walked away from that show to avoid any ambiguity, OK?
And you know very well how much it meant to me for you to be there.
For you not to be ashamed of me.
- But... - Whatever.
Where are you going?
No, no, no.
I'll show them how much I love you.
Today.
I'll go see the girls later, I'll handle it, you have to believe me.
Do you believe me?
Do it for real this time.
Add a zero there. And there. That whole line.
- This line? - Whoa, what are you doing?
None of your business. What about Berlin?
- I added a zero. - That's my champion!
Hey, nice. CrossFit?
No, tap dancing.
A bit of an artist, I love it!
I never used to have that.
Brian Joubert shouldn't touch those figures.
Actually, Brian Joubert was a figure skater.
No. No, he was a tap dancer. Look it up, everyone knows.
Really?
Got him. He's out.
How much time do we have?
What? To have sex? When do I catch up on my sleep?
You're right.
We need to sleep.
Oh, no... You go.
- Must be the veggies for the Babycook. - Oh, no.
You want me to open the door while pumping?
"Something to drink, sir?"
Looks like a prank.
Fuck!
- Take that! - Wait! Ouch!
- Wait, wait, wait! Bachelor party! - Fuck!
Ah, nice! Today? When are the girls coming?
- Why, are they coming? - Well, I don't know.
- And Elsa? - We can do this another time.
No, no, no. Go, I need to get ready before they pick me up.
- You think we should wait for Elsa? - No. Go!
Come on. Up you get.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I am. Go.
- Wait, I just need my shoes. - I'll get them for you.
- Come on. - Two minutes...
- Come on. Cool. - Just two minutes...
Whatever, have fun.
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
THE LAME PLAN
THE CRAZY PLAN
THE BOOTY PLAN
THE HOOK-UP PLAN
Yes!
- Hey! - Hi.
- Is Charlotte here? - Not yet.
It's going to be crazy! Will there be firemen?
Because you know that I... Hang on.
- Come on in. - What's with the balaclava?
- So, go on, what was so urgent? - So...
- Spit it out, I have work to do. - OK.
- Right, girls... - Yeah?
So, I wanted to tell you...
Whatever. Tell us on the way. I'm too hot, let's go.
- Where are we going? - To my bachelorette party, obviously!
I got it, drop the act.
One second, I need to pee and we can go!
Ba-che-lo-rette!
Ouch... Fuck!
Fuck, she said she didn't want one. What do we do now?
- The zoo. - The zoo?
Talk louder! I can't hear!
Yeah! We've got so many ideas, it's crazy! So cool!
- With the tigers and cubs and stuff... - It's fucking lame.
- It's cute, right? OK, it's lame. - No, it's lame.
OK.
Who is it?
- Are you sure about this? - Come in, hurry. Go hide!
Look! The guys posted a story!
We are coming to you live from Eugène Claudius Petit Junior High
with a veteran and all-around great guy.
Oh, that's my old school!
The school attended by our very own Mr. Antoine Ben Smires.
#BACHELORPARTY
And we're here with Madam Lecanu, biology teacher.
- What was Antoine like? - So?
Oh, he was a naughty boy.
#BIOLOGYTEACHER
- Nice. - What was he?
A naughty boy. There was this one girl who wouldn't let him out of her sight.
I remember. Short, snarly, plumpy.
- Plumpy? - Snarly? We know that one!
- What was her name? - Wait, it will come back to me...
Aurélie, Amélie...
♪ PLUMPY ♪SNARLY
- Emilie. - Emilie!
- Oh, my God! Emilie... - Yep.
- They're talking about me, right? - No, not at all.
Come on, Milou, it's our turn!
Surprise!
You didn't have this in junior high, right?
Come on, Arthur, give it all you've got.
Arthur, if you don't want to, you don't have to.
Guess who hired a champion? I did!
#BACHELORETTEPARTY #TIGHTBUTT
OK...
Caliente!
- Elsa, look! - I'm fine, thanks.
- Get naked! - Elsa, say hi to the camera.
- Say hi. - Come on!
- What's he doing? - His internship report, I reckon.
Great, really funny.
Whoa...
There's a second layer!
#DOUBLEUNDIES
Come on, Elsa!
#ALMOSTNAKED
- Yeah! - Higher up.
- Let's avoid a lawsuit, Harvey. - For sure.
- I'm the star. - Yeah, true.
- Next! Next! - This just keeps getting better!
- I'll push your ass if you want. - Go ahead.
- One... two... three! - Don't hurt him!
Julio drinking!
#MENTALBACHELORPARTY
#CRAZYBACHELORETTEPARTY
#FORGETMENOT
Come on, we're good. You OK?
- Yeah! - Oh, those eyes!
#BACHELORETTETRUTHORDARE
- Hey, what are you doing on the statue? - What?
I need to feed my baby, I'm breastfeeding.
This is a public monument. Don't cause any trouble.
Of course, sir. Don't worry.
Yeah!
Oh, right. Pathetic!
Right, OK, butt-naked in the street.
Not a word, guys.
She's fit though!
♪ FULLBUSH ♪PRINCESSOFBUTTS ♪ BACHELORETTEPARTY
Where are they going? To a whorehouse?
No, I know this place. It's a karaoke bar!
- Karaoke... - Stop it!
Shit, that's an amazing idea!
- What should we do? - Let's join them?
Well, that was the plan, what did you think?
Trust Chacha.
- That's not much. - No, it isn't.
- It's crazy he got it, anyway.
- Did you hear? - I don't know!
Well, yeah! Hey!
- No way! They're here! - Oh, Julio!
- Yeah! That's too much. - Hey, Julio.
- I'm so glad you're here. - You haven't told them yet?
- It's awesome he's here, I'm so glad! - Yeah, it's great!
So great. Cool.
- Shall we sing a duet later? - No way.
- Yeah. - No.
- What? - It's tradition.
- Bride versus groom. - Oh, yes, girls versus boys.
- But I'm keeping Arthur. Yeah. - Sorry, but that doesn't make any sense.
- It does. - It doesn't.
- You know who pays you. - About that, I wanted to...
- Hang on. - It doesn't make any sense.
Of course it does. Come on, move over. Shots!
- Fucking shots! - Wait, where's Eddy?
- Stop it with the shots! - Is he not with you?
No.
He's staying at Mom's! Thanks for worrying about my mental load.
- You're so dumb. - Or what we could do...
We could start off separately and then mix it up for the duets.
That's perfect.
- That way, we can sing our song. - Great idea!
- Amazing! - It just felt right.
- I actually need to trust myself more. - Yeah. Totally.
You've got it, honestly.
Let's get this party started! Let's bring the house down, I'm on fire!
To the future spouses!
We've known each other for quite some time
For quite some time
Even if our chats were just part-time
It's true
You always read me like an open book
You seem fragile to me
And my heart is so shook
I want us
To share all of our little secrets
- As I'll always be - Now, me.
Your very best friend
I will be there
For you, I swear
- Whether that is here or there - Ouch!
I will be
Always the same
Never that tame
Ready to go crazy
I will be
Even if we grow apart
The one who puts hope back into your heart
We will leave nothing to chance
- You know me - Come on, Arthur!
I'll always be
Your very best friend
He knows all the words. Awkward!
Can I have four beers, please?
- You OK? All good? - Yeah, and you?
Yeah, totally. I just did a Garou track.
- I was on fire. - No less!
Is your interview on Monday?
- I'm going to be on top form. - Right.
It's not gonna be easy without you.
It's true, Pinkars is the two of us.
Even in other aspects of my life,
I've never done anything without you since I got to Paris.
That's true.
It's weird for me too, you know. But it's a good thing. For both of us.
And Pinkars is just you. All I did was give you a few pointers.
So, how many candidates on the short list for the sausage party?
One.
Well...
to my success without you.
MIKE BRANT "LET ME LOVE YOU"
- I don't know. - Yeah, it's not easy. Let me show you.
- Not bad, huh? - Look. They have "Just a Gigolo."
Or "Libertine."
- Are you serious? - Guys, don't start with this.
Come on, the next round is on me!
I wouldn't be so smug if I were you.
You're right, I'm getting ahead of myself.
But since her besties are on my side, I'm feeling confident.
Just don't get your hopes up.
- Pretty good vibrator, right? - "Vibrato," buddy!
That's what I said.
RACHEL DOYLE FIVE MESSAGES / TWO MISSED CALLS
Not bad!
You OK, my brother?
- Alright. - I'm OK.
- When will we stop acting like kids? - Wouldn't that be super boring?
- Or relaxing. - That too!
- I'm tired of taking care of my friends. - Come on, we're thirsty!
But can't they help you?
What can I say, I'll forever be the group's attendant.
Not at all, you're their leader.
- You are. - Yeah.
Let them look after themselves!
You don't have to do everything that's expected of you.
Like marriage.
Oh, shit. That bad, huh?
You know, when Matt leaves...
well, I'll be here.
Always.
I love you.
- Here, let me help you. - Thank you.
- That one? - Yeah, that one.
Why?
- Of course! - You scared me.
- You woke me up. - Yeah, yeah!
- She woke me up! - No, no, no, no!
Hi, girls. You OK?
Yeah, and you?
- They're starting to get so drunk. - Oh, really? Crazy.
And is Julio OK?
I don't know, I don't care, I didn't... It's Jules.
Anyway, it's amazing.
"THE URGE TO LOVE"
No! Honestly, I'm leaving.
No, no. Honestly.
Girls, you're so embarrassing.
No, no, no.
- No. - But you used to sing it so well.
Come on, let's go. Crazy, right?
- I'm not even... - Yeah, yeah.
I'm not even sure I still know the words.
It's your favorite song.
I mean, it's a lot of people's favorite song. It's not...
I didn't prepare it... Honestly.
It's so easy
To love
So doable
To love...
- Such a nice voice. - Yeah.
- Incredible. - Yeah.
- It's not great. - No?
Look around you
Yeah, it's getting a bit iffy...
To whom truly wants it
Oh, yeah.
It takes nothing
Matthieu!
- Cheers! - You OK, kiddo?
- Yeah, and you? - Yeah.
Hottie.
- Charlotte likes you. - Really?
The last guy she looked at like that was me, so, yeah, she likes you.
You're so dumb.
It's true, she does.
Oh, OK.
But no, not at all. Not at all.
No, I'm among those who think it's a shame you left, actually.
Since you left, there really aren't enough sexy men at Pinkars.
Oh, right, I see.
- So, you're gay? - Yeah.
OK. Awesome. I didn't know. Well, "awesome," I don't know.
- I can confirm, it's awesome. - Right, OK.
- I'm going to get a drink. - It's excellent.
- Uh-oh, I hear singing. - Yeah...
- Hurry up! - Let's go.
It will be us, one day
It will be us, who lead the way
- Go sing with him! He needs saving. - So that the love
That we will learn to share
Gives us the urge to love
Come on!
- Life is so short, you see - Elsa! Elsa! Elsa!
- And fragile too, chérie
Maxime! Elsa!
- It will be us who lead the way - Maxime! Elsa! Come on!
- Elsa! - Yeah!
Come on!
Come on, let's do it!
Julio?
Or Jules, we don't really know.
I found your phone. This Rachel chick keeps calling.
You took my phone?
It was lying around.
Oh, no.
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Alright, so now everyone's leaving. - What's wrong with that guy?
IT WILL BE US, TONIGHT UP TO US TO WANT IT...
- You had that note, though. - No, I'm not going... Of course I did.
What a shitty atmosphere!
My husband-to-be!
Crazy day.
Crazy night.
Fuck, it feels good.
You know what? We haven't talked about the wedding for at least ten hours.
Oh, right! The little ceremony!
- The little bow tie. - The little caterer.
- The little verrines. - The little hairdresser.
- The big wedding cake. - The big budget!
- Oh, fuck! - Yeah.
I can't take it anymore.
You do realize we're bitching
about what's supposed to be the best day of our lives.
But are we getting married for us or for our mates?
For my mother, first of all.
- Right? To Martine. - To Martine!
But we don't have to get married.
Well...
We totally don't.
Totally! Why are we doing this?
- Totally. We don't need it! - We don't.
- We have a baby. - Yes.
- We get along. - We do.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- As buddies.
I mean...
We hardly fuck anymore.
We don't fuck at all.
We...
We'll always be there for one another?
Yeah.
But as...
as friends.
As friends.
I've loved having a child with you.
Please don't cry, Milou.
Because if you do...
well...
I'll cry too.
- Why the fuck is she calling you? - Why do you think?
She must be wondering what happened at the show!
- Liar. - What do you mean, "liar"?
Fuck, Elsa, are we doing this again?
But how am I supposed to act as if nothing happened?
But things did happen! There will always be things that happened.
So, move on.
- Forget about my past! - But 500... I can't forget.
I can't. It's 573 clients.
It's 573 women.
I mean, these women... These women are like your exes.
They're everywhere.
They can show up anytime, they're here and...
and when I close my eyes, I picture you with them,
and I'm actually disgusted.
It just came out.
But you said it.
You know what, Elsa?
You're always one step behind.
Why do you say that?
Because you always wait for me to leave to love me.
You've lost me for good this time.
Hey, Jules! Don't walk the streets too long.
Shit.
Shoot.
- You OK? Yeah? - Yeah, I'm OK.
- Yeah. Hang on. - Show me?
Then again, you probably deserved it, right?
I don't get it, I just gave him back his phone.
Is the taxi for you? Yeah?
OK, well, come on. Come.
Go home and rest.
Are you OK?
No.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
No.
I mean, I don't know.
I never went to Buenos Aires.
For four months, I was here, having a wonderful relationship with Julio and...
and I couldn't tell you because I was afraid you'd ruin everything.
But I didn't even need to tell you because...
I managed to ruin everything myself.
I'm sorry.
Subtitle translation by Julia Knapp